


Kissiology 101

by fortunata13



Category: Legend of the Seeker
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortunata13/pseuds/fortunata13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story serves as a deep philosophical meditation examining the human condition by implementing the Socratic Method. Yeah, no that was all a lie: THIS HERE IS PURE CRACK with some FLUFF added for good measure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kissiology 101

**Author's Note:**

> Written for ivanolix's awesome Kiss-A-Thon.

Cara never drinks; being in control is too important to her. It’s a policy she’d established at a young age –– mostly because her older sister ended up pregnant at sixteen after a beer binge. Besides, watching everyone else make fools of themselves is much more fun than playing the fool. What exactly possessed her to show up drunk to Kahlan and Richard’s wedding rehearsal is impossible to know.

It’s common knowledge that it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her gown before the wedding but Richard insisted on a full dress rehearsal –– he wanted everything to be perfect. Kahlan isn’t at all superstitious so she agreed. With the wedding only two days away, it didn’t seem like a bad idea. Cara was already standing by the altar when Kahlan walked down the aisle to stand beside her –– Cara was the best person (Kahlan insisted on gender neutrality).

“Nice boobage in that dress,” Cara leaned in and whispered into her ear.

The smell of alcohol on her breath nearly caused Kahlan to topple over. “Cara, are you drunk?”

“I don’t drink,” Cara said –– to Kahlan’s boobs.

“Mm, I suppose you ran naked through a distillery then.” She lifted Cara’s chin to make eye contact with her. “Listen to me, you cannot leave my side. If Groomzilla realizes you’re drunk he’ll go postal.” Cara shrugged in response and rested her head on Kahlan’s shoulder. Kahlan smiled and kissed the top of her head. Richard had been completely over-the-top OCD about the wedding to the point that Kahlan had threatened to call it off twice. It had been Cara who walked her off the ledge.

After going over their vows a half dozen times –– Richard kept complaining that Kahlan’s voice was too pitchy –– he finally asked Cara for the rings. Cara tilted her head and furrowed her brow. The rings didn’t, well, ring a bell. “Cara, the rings,” he said through his teeth a second time.

“Cara, sweetheart, where did you put the wedding rings?” Kahlan employed her gentlest tone: making Cara nervous wasn’t going to help matters.

After what to Richard seemed like a lifetime, Cara said to Kahlan, “Somewhere very safe.” She and Cara had been best friends for years; no further explanation was required. Kahlan reached into Cara’s cleavage and pulled out the rings; that’s where Cara stashed all her valuables.

Richard’s palm went to his forehead. “I hope that’s not how you’re planning on doing it at the wedding!”

“Richard, calm down, Cara isn’t feeling well.” Kahlan patted Cara’s back a few times and gave her a tender smile. Everything went downhill from there.

“You may kiss the bride,” said the guy who was standing in for the justice of the peace.

Cara must have decided he was talking to her because she spun Kahlan around and kissed her full on the mouth. What’s more, Kahlan kissed her back. “Very funny, you two.” Richard said. “I get it, I’ve been a little intense about the wedding. I’m sorry.” He assumed Cara and Kahlan had staged the entire thing to teach him a lesson; they hadn’t. “Let’s do one last dry run –– without the inappropriate touching and the lesbian kiss.”

“Richard, I’m taking Cara home. She really isn’t feeling well.” She left Richard standing at the altar and walked into the changing room. Cara plunked down on a stool and closed her eyes. Kahlan shook her head and smiled. “I’ll have you home soon, sweetie.”

Cara passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow. She made cute little noises as Kahlan took off her shoes and loosened her pants a bit to make her comfortable. Knowing that she was bound to wake up with the mother of all hangovers, Kahlan thought it best to stay with her. She put on the top of Cara’s sushi pajamas and got into bed with her. The taste of Cara’s lips mingled with the alcohol still lingered on her tongue. “Even drunk you’re the best kisser ever,” Kahlan said to her unconscious friend.

This wasn’t the first time the two of them had kissed. Richard befriended Cara when she was a freshman back in college. He and Kahlan were juniors and had already been dating for a while. The two of them sort of adopted Cara immediately. While they broke up at least a dozen times before graduation, Cara was the one constant in their lives. During one of their many breakups, Cara stayed over at Kahlan’s off-campus apartment for a few days. It was the most fun either of them had ever had. They mostly lounged around the apartment watching movies and talking. Cara made Kahlan laugh constantly and Kahlan was very affectionate –– something to which Cara wasn’t accustomed. One night, Kahlan attempted to make lasagna. She preheated the oven, but having forgotten that she’d used it to store Tupperware, an oven fire ensued. Cara sprung into action, leaping over the counter and reaching for the kitchen sink sprayer. Kahlan cupped her cheeks and said, “You’re my hero.” She then proceeded to plant a kiss on Cara’s lips. Cara kissed her back, parting her own lips just enough to convey to Kahlan that this was real.

Cara was rounding third base when Kahlan pulled away. Not once had Richard gotten that close to home plate –– and by then they’d been dating for two years. The next morning Kahlan blamed it on the booze –– even though there hadn’t been any. To say that Cara was conflicted would be understating matters. Richard was her friend, making a move on his girl didn’t feel right –– although nothing had ever felt as right as holding Kahlan in her arms. Best to just be friends, she told herself.

“Drink this,” Kahlan said as soon as Cara opened her eyes. “It’s my own personal hangover remedy.” She held up Cara’s head and pressed the glass to her lips.

Cara grimaced but downed the entire thing. “Poisoning me is your cure for a hangover?”

Kahlan smiled and brushed the hair away from Cara’s eyes. “So tell me, what prompted this little alcohol binge of yours? And don’t lie to me, I can always tell when you’re lying.”

Cara rolled her eyes, it was true, nothing got past Kahlan: she was like a human polygraph machine. “Things are going to change,” she said.

“And you don’t want them to change?” Kahlan didn’t need her to elaborate. She knew exactly what Cara was feeling; she was feeling it, too.

“I want things to change but not in the way that they’re changing.” She was looking up at the ceiling; there’s no way she could have this conversation while looking Kahlan in the eyes.

“I’m getting married tomorrow.” Kahlan crawled under the covers and rested her head on Cara’s shoulder. “Richard is like the best wedding planner ever. I thought it would take at least a year; he did it all in two months.”

“Do you love him?” she rubbed her nose on Kahlan’s and kissed her on the lips.

“See, that’s the problem, when you do things like that I get all flustered and confused.” Cara didn’t answer, she just gave her a knowing look. “Fine,” Kahlan said, “there’s all these things I love about him.”

“There’re things I love about him, too, but you don’t see me running off to marry him.” She had a good point but still, Kahlan was getting married tomorrow –– a little too late for introspection.

“What would you like me to do?” Kahlan asked, kissing the spot behind Cara’s ear.

“This has nothing to do with me.” She picked up Kahlan’s hands and kissed the center of each of her palms.

“Convenient,” Kahlan said, taking back her hands in a huff.

“Yes, but also true,” she said. “Do you want to know how I see this?”

“Enlighten me,” Kahlan said, her mouth going to Cara’s earlobe.

“You’re trying to make this about us but it’s not about us. Because as long as there’s a ‘you and Richard’, there is no ‘us’.”

“Oh there is so an ‘us’ Cara, deny it as much as you’d like, but there’s always been an ‘us’.” She shifted her position so that she was giving Cara her back. How dare she say there was no ‘them’?

Cara remained silent for a few minutes. The last thing she wanted was to have an argument with her. "'Us’ is easy, Kahlan. I’m in love with you, I always have been.” Kahlan’s lips parted and her eyes widened. “Don’t act all surprised. This is the eleventh hour; it’s time to get honest.”

She was right, and Kahlan knew she was right. “I don’t want to marry Richard –– at least not tomorrow. He’s a great guy; I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t want to marry him more than I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Then why did you say yes?” Cara asked, shaking her head.

“Because of you, obviously.” Now they were both frustrated. “Yes, because of you,” Kahlan repeated, more emphatically. “You’re the reason Richard and I are still together. You’re the glue,” Kahlan said with a shrug. “Cara, we asked you along on our honeymoon. That—is—not—normal. Who does that?”

Cara rolled her eyes. “Yes, I know that’s not normal. Why do you think I politely declined?” It was her turn to give Kahlan her back.

“‘I’m not going with you on your fucking honeymoon, you freaks. Are you two fucking crazy?’ wasn’t exactly polite, babe.” Kahlan pressed the front of her body to Cara’s back and kissed her shoulders and the back of her neck. “You’re the glue, Cara. When you’re not around, Richard and I sit there wishing you were. Really, it’s boring as hell without you.”

“If you’re suggesting a threesome, forget it. There’s no way I’m fucking Richard, he’s like my brother or worse, he’s like my puppy. And I’m so not a dog person.”

Kahlan couldn’t help but laugh aloud. Of course Cara’s mind would go there. After a long silence she sighed and said, “I’m not marrying Richard tomorrow.” Cara kissed her so long and hard that Kahlan suspected she’d gotten her pregnant –– not that that’s how babies are made. “Wow,” she said, “had I’d known you’d kiss me like that, I would have broken up with Richard years ago.”

“Six months,” Cara said, “you have six months to figure out what you want.” Cara had accepted a job offer in South America a few weeks ago.

“I’ll go with you,” Kahlan said, “I’m not getting married so my calendar is suddenly clear.”

It was tempting, it was beyond tempting: it was a dream come true. “No,” Cara said. “You’re about to leave a four-year relationship with a guy you’re supposed to marry tomorrow. You need time, Kahlan, time to figure out what you want to do with your life.”

“So you’re dumping me? What if you fall for some Argentine, tango-dancing supermodel?”

“Well then, it’s your loss.” That earned her several blows to the head with a pillow. “I’m scared, too, but you know I’m right.”

“Six months,” Kahlan said. “Can we Skype? I’m used to talking to you everyday. I’ll probably die of Cara-deprivation.”

“Cara-deprivation?”

“Yes.” Kahlan said, “it’s a known medical condition. You really should keep up with these things, babe.”

Cara laughed. This is how it always was when it was just the two of them. They were silly and happy and they had fun. “Yes, we can Skype.”

***

It wasn’t easy but Kahlan did it, she called off the wedding, and she didn’t do it because of her and Cara, she did it because she wasn’t ready to marry anyone. Richard took it much better than Kahlan would have thought. In fact, he seemed kind of relieved. With Cara being away for months, he had no idea what he and Kahlan would have done with themselves. Maybe he knew Cara was the glue all along.

Cara and Kahlan Skyped every morning, and every night before bed. They both dealt with temptations during those months apart –– some more difficult to resist than others –– but they held out. This thing between them was sort of magical; it deserved a chance to grow. Kahlan applied to grad school –– Cara was right, she needed to figure out her own life before jumping into another relationship.

Six months to the day, Cara walked out of the plane and into Kahlan’s arms. Cara had given up her apartment when she left so she moved in with Kahlan –– on a trial basis that they both knew was permanent. “So what are we doing today?” Cara asked, after breakfast the next morning.

Kahlan thought for moment, then said, “I need you to help me with a project for school.” She flopped herself onto Cara’s lap and kissed her. “Kissiology 101,” she said.

“Kissiology,” Cara said, with more than a little skepticism.

“Yes,” Kahlan said, “It’s a required course. I might need you to take your clothes off though. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Anything to further the science of kissiology,” she said.

“Good,” Kahlan said. “Just so you know, the second part of the course is Sexiology 201.”

Cara smirked, and said, “You’re in luck: I have a PhD. in Sexiology.”


End file.
